This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

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    • Useful info / Professional
    • 2024/11/07 (Thu)

    This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

    Checking your level of morally harassed wife and remedial measures

    Because morally harassing behavior does not involve violence, the harasser may be unaware of the harasser's actions.

    In particular, when a woman is the harasser, both spouses may be unaware of the harassment due in part to the gender bias that "women are weak.

    Therefore, they do not realize the seriousness of the situation until their husbands, exhausted both mentally and physically by the daily repetition of mindless words and actions, ask for a divorce.

    In this column, I will tell you about common morally harassing behaviors of wives and points to be improved.
    If you think that you may be a wife who is a moral harasser, please read to the end.

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    ＜ Common Behaviors of Moral Harassers ＞

    Both men and women can be perpetrators of moral harassment. characteristics.

    How many of the following items do you check?
    ① The other person makes decisions about the family, but I often complain about it
    ② I am afraid of the other person, so I try my best not to feel their presence （ I ignore them ）
    ③ I cannot talk to them, so I end up
    ④ You are content to share bad things about your partner with your children
    ⑤ You can say that the bad relationship is because of your partner
    ⑥ You deny your partner's parenting
    ⑦ You often criticize your husband's looks or
    ⑧ frequently refers to her husband's parents as "smelly"
    ⑨ wants to control her husband's behavior and friendships
    ⑩ complains about her husband's income

    How about.

    How many of the following apply to you?

    If any of these apply to you, please click on the URL below to check the details of each item.

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    • Useful info / Professional
    • 2024/11/04 (Mon)

    This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

    Examples of Moral Harassment Husband （ Wife ）'s Statements - From the Field of Marital Counseling

    Moraharassment can be vaguely defined, and it can be difficult to clearly realize that you are being or have been a moraharasser. I am sure that Min-san has tried something like a "moral harassment level checker".

    Certainly, such checkers are useful, but there are so many bulleted features that can be taken in any way,
    and in the end, they all apply ….

    In this article, we will provide an example of a fictitious conversation filled with common examples from the conversations of harassing couples in couples counseling.

    If you think you may be a harasser, or your spouse may be a harasser husband （ wife ） please read on.

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    ＜ ① Many complaints ＞

    Husband says ： Travel and eating out are usually decided by wife. As for some sort of division of roles, I tend to make rather big decisions, such as buying a house or what the children's schooling will be, but my wife is better at entertainment matters, and probably wants to make her own decisions.

    At one point she asks me what I'm going to do ？, but she doesn't plan to discuss it much.

    However, my wife's priority is where she wants to go, and she doesn't think much of my situation.

    The other day we went to Hakone and there were huge crowds. My wife is a meek person and wants to go to such famous places, but
    I am tired from my daily work, so it was hard for me to relax.

    My wife says ： When we go on trips or eat out, I often decide where to go and what to eat.

    I don't really want to decide, but when I ask my husband what he ？ would do, he just says
    "You can decide" and doesn't consult me at all.

    I have no choice but to do a lot of research and make a decision, but when we go on a trip or have a meal, my husband complains ・ ・ and says, "I don't know.

    The other day, we went to Hakone for a family vacation. Then it was a holiday weekend and everywhere we went was crowded.

    And my husband was in a bad mood the whole trip. Why do you make us tired when we come here, choose a better place?

    I couldn't enjoy myself at all because I was always worried about my husband's mood and wondered if the waiting time would be long wherever we went.

    Explanation ： If you only hear what the husband has to say, it may seem that the wife is somewhat uncaring.

    But if you listen to the wife's story, it is littered with elements of moral harassment.

    For example, she abdicates her responsibility to make her own decisions and then complains about the decisions that are made.

    Controlling the other party by "appearing grumpy" is another common mode of behavior for morally harassers.

    In addition, there is an element of disrespect for the wife in the single statement that she is making "big decisions" such as buying a house or sending the children to college.

    Characteristic of such behavior is the "I let you do what you wanted" attitude.
    Never does it take the attitude, "I'm too much trouble, so I gave up 'deciding' and left it to the other person."

    ＜ ② If you have an argument with your partner, you think you will win because you are right ＞

    The husband says ： He wants to discuss any differences of opinion, but his wife is not so willing I think she is not really willing to do so.

    Maybe I can talk theoretically, but my wife can't, so she thinks she will lose if we talk.

    What my wife says ： If I disagree with my husband about something, I am not ready to discuss it.

    I know that my husband is not going to listen to me if I discuss it because he thinks he is absolutely right.

    No matter what I say, "but," "but," in a persuasive tone, it continues until I say yes.

    Explanation ： Whatever the story is, the relationship is such that the game is won before we talk.

    Many harassing husbands think they are smart and theoretical and their wives are dumb and emotional.

    Husbands say it is a discussion, but often the conversation is one-sided and puts the other person on the spot.

    ------------------
    Here are some other examples of conversations.

    Please take a look at the following URL.

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